Do you not get it? You want to end things. And by things I mean you. You want to end yourself. So all the troubles go away. Imagine when that would actually happen: how freeing not to feel, not to weigh, not to see or hear, how freeing would it be to just not be: free of words, or grammar rules, of career paths, hobbies, future plans, expectations of yourself and others, free of pain and happiness, free of all dreams and goals. How can death be so sweet and desirable?
It’s like all desires have died only to give life to one desire: the only desire you have, the one desire that overwrites all other wants and wishes, all bodily needs, and rights, the desire to end. How liberating is it to speak of it so freely, so openly? And let the words find their way out, like blood making a stream of its own only outside of one’s body. How precious. The only moment, where we come face to face with one’s vulnerability and worth is when we’re losing them.
Had you come this close to the end before this very moment? Is this the first time for you?
It is for me. And it feels as if I’m an excited baby crawling around in my thoughts to really grasp what I’m getting at: ‘What’s this new deadly philosophy?’
Comments
Post a Comment